Lincoln L. Hayes

Letters to myself from 30

In About Me on October 4, 2014 at 11:06 am

Dear 10-year-old Lincoln,

You’ve got a lot of great stuff a head of you. A few really crappy things, but mostly great. You go to college and study theater (I know! It’s a thing you can actually do!) and make a lot of great friends along the way. You also move to New York City and don’t get murdered (well, not yet anyway)! Oh, and you could probably get a math tutor. It gets harder and harder and we’re not very good at it. I won’t say much more ’cause I don’t want to spoil it! Also ask Mom to invest in APPLE for you. Not the fruit, the company. You’ll be glad you did.


You at 30.


Dear 20-year-old Lincoln,

College, right! It’s gonna be great. You just got a cell phone today. Congrats! Don’t worry, I won’t tell Mom, but she will find out and yes, she’ll be mad. No, I still don’t know why, but she will. I know your apartment sucks and you’re kind of a in a rut after breaking up with [high school girlfriend], but you’ll meet somebody very soon that will propel you on the path that will be your life. I know, TERRIFYING, but in a good way. And don’t worry about not getting into the acting program yet at UNC. Just keep on plugging. Eventually, somebody will take a chance on you. And keep that mindset for the rest of your career. It only takes one person to say yes and then you’re off!

It’s probably too late to change this (since this isn’t really going back in time), but try to have more fun. School and grades are very important and you will graduate with a very good GPA (spoilers), but just have more fun! Go out, hang out with friends, meet new people. You’ll be glad you did!

Also, you’ll start drinking next year. It’ll be a rough start, but in about 7-8 years, you’ll get to go to Belgium where they have over 1000 beers. You’ll want to try all of them and will. Eventually. And don’t be so judgmental. There’s a much bigger world out there than UNC and Greeley, Colo.


You in 10 years

PS Start a savings account! Please!


Dear 24-year-old Lincoln,

Jesus, only six years ago, I was in a completely different place! Weird. So, you’ve had some road bumps on the way, but look around you. You’ve got great friends who are supportive and always there for you. Not a bad birthday party they threw you, huh? Don’t get bogged down with the changing tides. I can guarantee that you’re going to be very happy by the end of the month. Make sure that even though you don’t want to, you GO TO THOMAS BRADFIELD’S BIRTHDAY PARTY. Trust me. There’ll be a girl there you’ll want to meet. Also, did you start that savings account yet? No? God damn it. Well, I tried. Next year is 25. It really isn’t a big deal because you have SO MUCH happening in the next six years. In the best possible way. But, if you can, find time to go home more. I miss it now. It’s been too long. And try to patch things up with your brother. He can be a prick sometimes, but he’s still your big brother.

Enjoy the party tonight and yes, tomorrow is going to be a HUGE bummer, but in four years, you’ll be in London with Kyle and Joey (and someone VERY special), so sack up and keep trucking!


You at 30

PS Its still not too late to invest in Apple.


Dear 28-year-old Lincoln,

Hey man! How’s London?! Pretty awesome right? That ring is burning a hole in your pocket, I know, but the story is going to be SO worth it! And don’t worry about the rain. It’s a sign of change. It’s going to continue to be important through out your life and your relationship with Rachel. It’s raining today, in fact! She’s absolutely going to love the proposal and your wedding is going to be, dare I say, the best wedding in the history of mankind. All other weddings will pale in comparison. But don’t rub it in, obviously. That’s rude. Oh, and you and Rachel are going to get in a fight tomorrow about whether Kyle and Joey are having fun. THEY ARE! Just relax and enjoy the coolest city you’ve ever been to. You dope.

You’re getting engaged tomorrow!!


You in two


Dear Yesterday Lincoln,

You’re almost out of toothpaste. Oh, and your birthday is tomorrow.

- Lincoln

Why “The Birdcage” means so much to me as a straight man

In Acting, Blogging, Movies, News, Television on August 12, 2014 at 12:37 pm

bcRobin Williams died yesterday at the age of 63. Social media are still a-buzz with pictures and memories and quotes of his from movies. Last night, Rachel and I watched “Aladdin” and “The Birdcage” in his memory. Both are very dear to me and my memory of Williams, “Aladdin” in that, as I mentioned in a Facebook status, it was one of the first Disney movies to have a celebrity voice actor. The next year, he was in “Mrs. Doubtfire” and I could put a face to the voice and realized people made cartoons, actors. That was a thing that could be done. Maybe I could do it?

But “The Birdcage” is something else to me. I don’t remember the first time I watched it, but it came in 1996, so I was twelve or thereabouts when it was on HBO or another movie channel. Growing up in a small town, I wasn’t exposed to gay culture in any way. Anything gay was presented as wacky or abnormal, like the sassy gay friend of the girl in the romantic comedy. Those types of people weren’t real to me; they existed only as archetypes in movies and TV.

Remember when Facebook was fun?

In About Me, Blogging, News on July 12, 2014 at 6:39 pm

It has been made very clear to me as of late that I am very quickly losing my interest in Facebook aside from a means of self-promotion as an actor, filmmaker, and podcaster. Any posts regarding those three areas are usually met with excitement and kind words. However many things I post merely to share for the potential enjoyment of others have a 50/50 chance of being enjoyed or incendiary.


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